Sunday, April 1, 2012

What now?

Okay, everyone knows my dad needed a transplant. Well March 8th 2012 he got a call from the hospital. He came in my bedroom around 1am and told me he was the back up and such, Of course my hopes were high, like shooting through the roof, but at the same time I didn't want him to get the transplant because I thought the lady needed it more. Weird updates from my mom here and there. After school ended she told me he was getting transplant. I was the last to know as always because she even updated facebook before she bothered telling me. Haha anyways. It's been 24 days since he's been transplanted. Truthfully, this isn't what I expected at all. At all. I've lived knowing my dad was dying for almost 4 years (3/11/08) and all of a sudden, out of the blue he's not dying. It's a lot to process I'm only 13 what do you expect. I just can't believe all of this. I am struggling to believe any of it. One day I woke up and found out my dad was dying. Almost 4 years later I wake up and he's fine. The changes are unbelievable. I imagined the day my dad was transplanted and what it would feel like. I imagined all kinds of emotions, but the only one I feel is shock. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. So, so, so, happy, but I am also shocked. I thought this experience would be traumatic. It wasn't and I'm just so happy. Honestly I don't know how to feel. For 4 years it seemed like my life revolved around this, that's all that mattered. Now it's fixed. What now? What happens after this? Do things go to a some what normal? Or do they get crazier? I think it gets crazier, but I am not positive. I don't think anything will ever go back to the way things were before my daddy was diagnosed. It seems like it's time to accept the new normal, yet I've tried not to think of it as normal for a couple of years now, I thought it was temporary, I guess not. Now that it's spring break I think I need to go lose myself with my camera. I haven't done that for a while and I miss it.

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